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I stumble. Suddenly all the macho bravado I had arrived with left me. My breath returns in short gasps, my stomach empty, hollow. Fear coursed through my veins. As her head comes up I turn so I am not headed directly towards her, suddenly unsure of myself. As I walk by I watch her through the sides of my eyes, pleased that she is watching me. From a distance I turn and look back at her, she has returned to her reading. I sit down and drink in the sight of her. Finally I get to see the woman who has affected me so deep. She is a vision. Quietly reading, pausing occasionally to watch the people walking by below her sanctuary. Once, she looked towards me and I my heart soared as she met my gaze and a small smile danced on her lips before she turned back to her book. Deciding that I had to make a move I put my shirt back on and moved around behind her knoll. I climbed up it until I was behind her, partially screened by a bush. I waited until there was a break in the people below and I. This was good I had feltshe needed counseling. "I have been prescribed citalopram."This came as a blow.This meant the doctor felt her anxiety was too severe to be helped byjust counseling."He wants to see you too to talk about us. I bet you that you aresuffering from severe depression."I could recognise a need to find out how to help Lourdes but I did notthink I was depressed."OK what are the consequences of your bet?" I asked."Dr Patel said we need to make some changes in our life. If you win Iwill dress up as a French Maid and do your washing up for two months. Icould see it might be therapeutic for me to do the washing up and I knowyou get turned on when I dress like that. Obviously if you win it wouldmean you don't need to do anything therapeutic."That sounded sensible."What if I lose?" I asked. I doubted that that would happen but wantedto know the consequences. "If I win you will dress as a French Maid anddo the ironing for two months. That would mean you needed to.
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